How Do I Identify Domestic Violence?
Abuse can take many forms and often begins by the abuser exerting control over parts of their partner’s life; the abuse then progresses in frequency and intensity. If you are unsure if you are in a violent or controlling relationship, please contact Safehome at 913.262.2868.
Does your partner…
- Humiliate, criticize or yell at you?
- Blame you for their behavior?
- Have access to a gun or can obtain one easily?
- Threaten you with a weapon?
- Threaten to hurt or kill you?
- Try to choke you?
- Break or hit things to intimidate you or others?
- Threaten to take your kids away?
- Threaten to harm your kids or pets?
- Force you to perform sexual acts?
- Act jealous and possessive and try to control most of your daily activities?
- Tell or “suggest” what you should do?
- Blow disagreements out of proportion?
- Keep you from seeing friends and family?
- Limit your access to money or necessities?
- Keep you from getting a job or going to school?
- Constantly check up on you?
- Follow or spy on you or leave threatening messages?
- Threaten to hurt or kill themselves or others if you leave?
- Call 911 if you are afraid or feel threatened.
- Go to a safe place (police or fire station).
- Go to the emergency room. All Johnson County hospitals are safe places where you can request assistance from Safehome and/or receive treatment for injuries.
- Call Safehome’s 24-Hour Hotline at 913.262.2868.
- Set aside extra cash in a safe place.
- Take important items: birth certificates, bank records, insurance information, social security cards, photo identification and prescriptions.
- Hide an extra set of car and/or house keys outside your home.
- Pack a set of clothes for you and your children in case you need to leave quickly.
- Obtain a Protection from Abuse (PFA) Order.
Power and Control Wheel
Domestic violence involves a range of behaviors which can include physical and sexual violence; using coercion and threats; using intimidation; using emotional abuse, using isolation; minimizing, denying and blaming; using children; using male privilege; and using economic abuse. These forms of abuse do not occur in isolation from each other, but rather occur simultaneously.
The Power & Control Wheel model of Domestic Violence identifies power and control as the goal of all of these tactics of abuse because victims’ experiences consistently indicate that the behavior of their partners is not random or arbitrary, but purposeful and systematic. The goal of abusers’ behavior is to exert control over their partners. This goal reflects their belief that they have a right and entitlement to control their intimate partners. The various forms of abuse, the different behaviors, are used as tactics of control.